I don’t know about all my lovely readers, but I have had a truly successful Christmas Eve. And I define a successful Christmas Eve as sleeping in til’ whenever, eating a lot of food, sitting in the same spot on the couch all day in the sweatpants I slept in last night, all while drinking beer continuously from 3 pm on. The only other things I could possibly do to make this day perfect are switch from beer to bourbon at some point, eat my third dessert of the day, and of course, finish this blog post.
I am hoping for an equally successful Christmas Day.
I thought I’d share some images from my little holiday at home. I’ve been a veritable potato the past few days here, but I suppose it’s some much-needed rest.
Nevertheless, you know me. I’m always restless and worried about what I’m accomplishing, or what I’m not. It’s probably the one or two days of the year when I should just chill and not place any judgment on whether I do ANYTHING commonly accepted as “productive” with my day. But as a seasoned over-achiever, I can’t help it.
I don’t think it has to do with the holiday days as much as what seems to be a trend for everyone around this time: assessing what we have or haven’t accomplished in the past year before going into the new one. We are plagued with the resolutions from January 2011 and taking a good, hard look at our intentions weighed against our actual achievements. At least I’d like to think I’m not the only one struggling with this. Holiday blues, so to speak.
I fell off the deep end with my auditions and my blogging, in addition to my hiatus due to injury. I haven’t lived up to the 40-some posts I promised by this time. I’m still a “performer in training” so to speak. And another year of my life has gone by without getting cast in a Nutcracker.
My outlook changed when I read this lovely quote my friend Stacy posted:
“Stop holding on to the past. Release your regrets about whatever you may have done or failed to do that turned out poorly. Forgive others for whatever they may have done or failed to do that cause you harm. Declare today to be a new beginning. Let go of the past and move on with creating a joyful new future for yourself.” ~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time to let go. If I’ve learned anything this year it’s that my incredible ability to beat on myself is the only thing that’s been holding me back. I know there is a resolution in there somewhere.
My father always says, “You should be too busy with your own self-improvement to criticize others.” I think myself and many others forget that we need to expand that to ourselves. If there is something you desperately want to accomplish in 2012, make sure you are way too busy making it happen to even THINK about saying something negative to yourself. Keep on keeping on, but keep on being gentle with yourself and others, especially during these times of reflection.
Another way I have realized, as a performer, that this can be interpreted, is to be more focused on what you have to GIVE than what you have to GET. Not to focus on the notches you get to check off of your own belt, but the value you can add to the lives of those around you.
I hope that this holiday season brings you lots of laughter and joy. Lots of time with those you love, yummy food, and one or two shiny new gifts. Perhaps some time giving to those less fortunate. Most of all, I hope that I can find new ways to add value to the lives of those of you who read this and follow my journey. I’m so thankful for each and every one of you. Know that I’m cheering in your corner as well. No matter what it is you’re trying to accomplish. Unless it’s genocide. Invading a small country however I will support… as long as I get a solid appointment in the new government.
And if all that crap doesn’t warm your heart, maybe this will. For animal lovers at least. 🙂
Love and joy to you all. Happy Holidays!